if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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