Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
