3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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