i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
