i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
