Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
