if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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