don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
