I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
