my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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