I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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