I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize