Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
