I want to make a zoo with you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
