i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
