I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
