oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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