I love black thongs
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
