i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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