i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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