He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
