next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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