so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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