Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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