listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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