If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
