I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
