It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
