I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
