Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
