i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
