He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
How's work?
Spinning.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
