I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
did you just send me my own nude
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
