I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
