never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
