Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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