No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
