he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
