whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
