No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
