I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
