i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
