my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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