yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
