Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's blow job season.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
