well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
