he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
