Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize