If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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