Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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